i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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