Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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