Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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