real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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