Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
