areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
