2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
