And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
