you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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