I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
