I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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