Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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