If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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