i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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