I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
