I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
