and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
