He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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