the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
