No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
