no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
