2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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