So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
