Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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