They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
