was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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