Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
