Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
