But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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