Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
