you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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