I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
