If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
