distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
