so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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