Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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