: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
