That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
