Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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