he thought i was a dude.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
