mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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