How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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