I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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