what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
