OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
