where am i from again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
