Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Me too!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
