I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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