Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
that's an acceptable place to lick
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
