dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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