if i can run in heels then i can drive
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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